So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
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We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK