I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
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Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
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Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused