i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.