im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?