defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
