fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
