Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
