Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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