Quick, to the slutcave!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
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i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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