haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
