I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
