I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.