So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
