what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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