Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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