Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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