We won't sleep together?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
