First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
How external is "for external use only"?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize