Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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