just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
