So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
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her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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