is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Can I color on your dick again?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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