Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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