I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My breasts were aching with rage.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
