I wish I could teleport
Ketchup is God's man juice
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
