I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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