I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize