We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
