Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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