Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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