i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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