He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
