no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize