never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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