He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
FUCK WHALES
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
