it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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