There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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