So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize