Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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