seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
