If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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