The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
