Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
