Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
