Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
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Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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