I wish I could teleport
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Can I color on your dick again?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
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