So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
