singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
