Don't make out with my wife yet
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize