On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
