Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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