i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
