Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
