what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Randomize
