Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
