I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
