did you get engaged???
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
