If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
