Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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