May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
