How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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