I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize