How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
