i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
